SantaBanta Jokes,

Banta wanted to use his ATM card but the machine kept on rejecting the card. In frustration Banta called his bank help line.

Banta, angrily: So what's wrong with my ATM card? Girl: Sir, I have checked your account, everything is alright here and you should be able to use your card, are you sure your card is not damaged or broken?

Banta: Are you insane? What are You insinuating? No one takes good care of their ATM card like I do.

Girl: Okay Sir, are you also sure the surface isn't wet or stained with dirt?

Banta: Are you mad? I take very good care of my card. As a matter of fact, I even got it laminated last week when I laminated my Identity card. Girl: Did you just said LAMINATE? Banta: Of course Yes!!!

SantaBanta Jokes,

Santa was spending some of his hard-earned cash on a luxury cruise and was given a table with a Frenchman. At their first meal together, the Frenchman said, "Bon appetit!" Before the next meal commenced the performance was repeated. "Bon appetit," said the Frenchman. "Santa Ji," replied Santa. After this had happened at every meal for three days, Santa was getting fed up, and told a fellow traveller about it. "He tells me his name is Bon Appetit and I tell him my name is Santa, and then at the next meal, we start all over again." The fellow traveller laughed and explained to Santa that the Frenchman was not introducing himself and that 'Bon appetit' meant "Good appetite", or "I hope that you enjoy your meal!"  Santa breathed a sigh of relief on receiving this information. Next morning, at breakfast, Santa greeted the Frenchman, "Bon appetite." The Frenchman nodded politely and said, "Santa Ji."

SantaBanta Jokes,

Santa applied for the job of night security guard at the factory. The boss looked him over carefully. "The sort of person we need for this job," said the boss finally, "is tough fearless, aggressive, suspicious, distrustful, always on the lookout for trouble and constantly ready to flare into violence. Quite frankly, you don't seem to fit the bill. "Oh. that is all right," explained Santa. "I HAVE ONLY COME TO APPLY FOR THE JOB ON BEHALF OF MY WIFE."

SantaBanta Jokes,

Santa ne Live Radio Station call ki: Hello... ji ye Radio station hai ? RJ: Ji Haan, boliye. Santa: Meri awaaz pura shehar sun raha hai ? RJ: J Haan. Santa: Yani ghar mein jo meri biwi Radio sun rahi hai... wo bhi sun rahi hogi..?? RJ (Gusse mein): Haaan bhai haan..!!! Santa: Hello Jeeto! Agar meri aawaz sun rahi hai toh jaldi se Motor chala de... Main oopar chhat par toilet mein hoon aur tanki mein Paani khatam ho gaya hai...!!!

SantaBanta Jokes,

A Chinese man married an African woman and had a child. Two months later the child passed away. At the funeral house, the African woman kept crying and saying, "I KNEW IT !!! I KNEW IT !!!" A family member pulled her aside and asked, "What did you know?" She replied, "That, Chinese products don't last long!!!"

SantaBanta Jokes

In Korea, when a patient is taken to hospital, a white wristband is placed on their left arm. These wristbands contain the patient's name and information. When a patient dies, a red wristband is placed on their right arm and they are taken to the morgue. In one particular hospital in Korea, a young doctor was working the night shift. It was around 2 AM when he finished his last operation. He was on the 5th floor and pressed the button for the elevator. The doctor was tired after a long day and was looking forward to the end of his shift. At 2 AM, the hospital was very quiet. Most of the patients were asleep and many of the nurses had already gone home. He entered the elevator and there was just one other person there. He casually chatted with the woman while the elevator descended. The elevator stopped at the basement and the door opened. They saw an old man dressed in a white gown standing there. The old man was about to get in when the doctor suddenly slammed the close button and punched the button for the 5th floor. "Why did you do that?" asked the astonished woman. "I've performed a lot of operations," replied the doctor. "I've seen a lot of people die. When a patient dies, they get a red wristband placed on their arm." The woman was silent. "You saw it, didn't you?" said the doctor. "That old man... That old man had a red wristband on his arm." "A red wristband....!!!!" said the woman as she raised her right arm. "You mean like this one ?"

SantaBanta Jokes,

Dear Sir, I have two questions for the lawmakers of our country: 1. If the legal age of a Man to get Sexually active is 18 years and the legal age for him to get married is 21... then what are we actually suggesting he should do these 3 years? 2. Now if the legal age for a Man to get married is 21 years and the legal age for him to start drinking is 25 years... then how do you suggest he survives the first 4 years of marriage??? Any information will be appreciated.

SantaBanta Jokes,

Banta walked through the forest when he heard a cry for help. He found a dwarf, stuck in a trap. He freed the dwarf, and the dwarf granted him two wishes.

"My first wish," Banta said, "is a bottle of whiskey that will never be empty."

And flash, there was the bottle. Banta opened it, and drank it empty. The next moment, the bottle was full again. Banta was very happy.

"What is your second wish," the dwarf asked?

Banta replied, "I want another bottle..."

SantaBanta Jokes,

Banta complained to a doctor that he wetted his bed every night.

"Before it happens, do you see any dreams?" the doctor asked.

"Yes, doctor. Usually I see a dream in which a small demon comes and says, 'Let's pee'."

"OK," the doctor said. "Next time you see the demon, say, No, we've already peed."

Next time Banta came to the doctor, the latter asked, "So, did you do as I said?"

"Yes, I did."

"Did it help?"

"No, doctor. Only, it made the matter worse."

"How?"

"As I said 'We've already peed,' the demon nodded and said, 'Then, let's shit a little.'"

SantaBanta Jokes,

Once upon a time a small boy named Hameed lived in a tiny Moroccan village. All his classmates hated him for his stupidity especially his teacher who was always yelling at him, "You are driving me crazy Hameed!!!"

One day his mother went to check out how he is doing at school and the teacher told her honestly that her son is simply a disaster, getting very low marks and never had she seen such a dumb boy in her whole career. The mother could not accept such a feed back and she took her son out from that schoo. she even shifted to another city.

25 years later, that teacher got a cardio disorder and all the doctors have advised her to go for an open heart operation which only one surgeon could perform. Left with no other choice she did it and the surgery was successful. When she opened her eyes, she saw a handsome doctor smiling to her, being under anesthesia effect, she wanted to thank him but could not talk, in turn, he was staring at her face which started turning blue, she was raising her hand trying to tell him some thing but in vain and eventually died.

The doctor was shocked and was trying to understand what just happened, till he turned back and saw our friend Hameed working as a cleaner in that hospital who unplugged the ventilator to connect his vacuum cleaner.

Don't tell me you were thinking that Hameed became a doctor...

SantaBanta Jokes,

I found myself in a pub in Patiala and a group of American tourists came in. One of the Americans said, in a loud voice, "I hear you Punjabis think you're great drinkers. I bet $5,000 that no-one here can drink 3 bottles of Jack Daniels in 10 minutes." The bar was silent, the American noticed Santa leaving, no-one took up the bet. 20 minutes later Santa who left returned and said, "Hey Yank, is your bet still on?" "Sure," said the American, "3 JD in 10 minutes for a bet of $5,000." "Great...," replied Santa, "so pour the whisky and start the clock." It was very close but the last drop was consumed with 2 seconds to spare. "OK Yank, pay up." said Santa. "I'm happy to pay, here's your money" said the American. "But tell me, when I first offered the wager I saw you leave. Where did you go?" "Well sir," replied Santa, "$5,000 is a lot of money to a man like me, so I went to the pub across the road to see if I could do it !

SantaBanta Jokes

Santa and the local priest were always fighting and arguing, and eventually they finished up in court. After listening to evidence from bath sides, the magistrate said, "I feel sure that this can be settled amicably. Shake hands with each other, and say something for good will." The priest shook Santa's hand and said, "I wish for you what you wish for me." "See, Your Honour," said Santa. "HE'S STARTING AGAIN."